Undone

I don't know what it is
This feeling
This constant pain
Unending
No reasoning does it give
Just hurts
All the way through
And yet somehow I feel numb

What it is I am unaware
Or am I in denial?
Of something so blatent
I can't seem to put my finger on it
This feeling
It eats away
Leaves me bare
A cold hollowness

Saline washes down my face
These are not tears
It's just the pain talking
It has always been like this
But never so agonising
It's like I've lost something
But what I know not
Or someone may be

I haven't the strength to find
I heave my sighs like they are my last
I think of what it's like
To end it all
This misery
My company
What have I to lose
When all I had is lost

I'm sinking either way
What if I followed too
Like Plath, Virginia or Hemmingway
But I am too young to be senile
I will not be missed
No one will know
No one will realise
No one will want to

But I'm too tired
To do what I must
To get it over and done with
I'm scared I'll fail
Now there's something I'm familiar with
What will happen of me
I'm losing my mind
I'm at my wit's end

I tried to reach out
But in vain
I screamed
But not one soul could hear
Not one chose to listen
I pulled at the last straw
Till it slowly gave way
Now I'm hanging on for "dear" life (slow and painful is the way to go so you can remember it all)

So here I am
With but only one wish
That the pain should end
Here I wait
For a miracle
For something
Anything to get me out (and set me free)
Till then I will wait
Painfully tormented
But in hope.