Damn this blog's been behind the scenes for abt 3 weeks now..k dont ask wat behind the scenes has do wid a price of fish..haha..but still we move on in life regardless of d insanity that momentarily grips us.(yea rite..NOTE :im speakin 4 myself here)wow..its been so long..i spent the last 1 nd a half weeks on d bed..wid a bucket nxt to it to keep barfing into d damn thing evry half hour or so...ding ding ding..Ur rite!!!I was sick woohooo(k i gotta cut out d craziness)..its funny rather more ironic than anything else actually...d one place i used to detest for their weird sterile phenyl smellin corridors had become a fun trip i took to enjoying evryday..here the term "fun" used wid my most scrunched up,constipated lukin,im-abt-to-puke face..yea id been goin to this stupid loony bin regularly for 10 days like it was my pop in-law's house.d doctor is a piece of shit hu dsnt know his asshole from his face..nd dats putting it lightly..d friggin SOB put me on drips agn even after i wasted 15 min of my breath complainin dat i dint want to be admitted into dat abyss..yuck!screw him..MBBS my ass...must have got a fake degree...Dats India for u..ya u can tell i aint too patriotic..love d country..dont get me started about the people..
Anyway d main subject of today's writing is August 16th(saturday)...woah wat a day!tiring gruelling but surprisingly wonderful.It was the day of the concert,the "Glorious" concert..our skol took part..only to screw up(fine i'll give them a lil credit- they did ok but u shud have seen d othr skols nd colleges dude..phenomenal doesnt seem to descibe it quite)...nd not to mention- d day i sang my guts out..only to get a severe throat infection nd get miserably sick.I spent the previous two weeks training,finding songs and teachin almost single handedly 48 hildren to sing!!!dat being bad enough..half cudnt sing to save their lives...a quarter was pre-occupied trying to converse wid me in Korean(my skol's d queerest of it kind mind u)..darn Jin..had he not had such gr8 hair i wud have karated d guy to his grave(wat a pest!)..along wid d 10 or so other Korean buffoons.(xpt John nd Kim ofcourse..yea Jin nd Kim r brothers..nd yes Kim is a guy..a really cute guy..so is John *sigh* ..*blush*;) )...nd the remainin half hu cud manage to get a few notes here and there right had egos d size of the universe...nd still id love to teach music..again...Getting these kids to sing together..yelling....standing on table nd screaming..did i mention yelling was d least easiest job in the world..but then again they're my choir(u hate choir music ...jump off a cliff!!!we sing rock too..mayb we'd do metal some day...choirs even rap..so if u had dis picture in ur head of choirs consisting of old granmas nd weird old men singing really high notes that can break glass...think again!).....these kids meant so much to me...i feel lik a somewat parent now..i actually got Koreans to sing in english(now that's an accomplishment).
To be continued l8r..have loads of studying to do..gtg now..darn d ISC system..wished there was a way to beat d damn system nd still nail d exams..wishful thinkking it will remain..lol.tc care till den ciao.
The worst part of the day-after all d encouragment i gave them..they sang worse thatnails on a black board during the sound check.
About Me
- Consequently drifting...into contemplation
- I think...therefore I am confused...I swear to drunk i'm NOT God.
Pultizer
This picture is of a little boy in Africa who was on his way to a center to get food. He stopped along the way to rest. He did not know that a vulture was close by waiting for him to die. Death is always waiting around. Are we going to do anything about it? The photographer of this picture committed suicide after receiving an award for this photo. The fact that he did nothing to help the boy after he shot the photo was too much for him to bear. Are we going to gradually and silently die with the guilt? Or are we going to take action?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Faith,Hope..and Love
Dats all I needed..a somewat fuel that got me goin.I left everything behind..old dreams...old ways(ok mayb not all of them)..i pushed away evrything that meant anything to me..d hardest of them all were my friends.i was hurt,too hurt to share it with anyone...the pain needed time to subside,to heal.It hasnt..not yet.But I know it will be...all i have to do is keep to myself...close myself from the rest of the world..i kno it sounds cowardly..but trust me it takes all d strength u got to shun d rest of humanity,to keep ur heart even more solid than rock!!prevents you from hurting others AND from u gettin hurt.Im going still...walkin a path i kno not...a path whether gud r bad is a helluva hitch.hopefully i'll make it..pull myself thru.
Rite now u mite be wonderin how ironical d title of this blog is...But take a sec...think about it..it takes all dese 3 things-faith,hope and love to do somethin i have..to protect the people u love from pain,to have faith that it'll be for the best...and to hope u dont have to live the rest of your life in regret.
Rite now u mite be wonderin how ironical d title of this blog is...But take a sec...think about it..it takes all dese 3 things-faith,hope and love to do somethin i have..to protect the people u love from pain,to have faith that it'll be for the best...and to hope u dont have to live the rest of your life in regret.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
F.R.I.E.N.D.S
Yaaron dosti bahi hi haseen hai
Yeh na ho to kya phir
Bolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to ho raajdaan
Be garaj tera ho yaar
Koi to ho raajdaan
Yaaron mohabbat hi to bandgi hai
Yeh na ho to kya phir bolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to dilbar ho yaar
Jisko tujhse ho pyaar
Koi to dilbar ho yaar
Teri har ke buraai pedaante vo dost
Gam ki ho dhoop tosaaya bane tera vo dost
Naache bhi vo Teri khushi main
Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai
Yeh na ho to kya phirBolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to ho raajdaanBe garaj tera ho yaar
Koi to ho raajdaan
Tan mann kar tum pe fida
Mahboob vo
Palkon pe jo rakhe tujhe
Mahboob vo
Jiski vafa tere liye ho
Are Yaaron dosti bahi hi haseen hai
Yeh na ho to kya phir
Bolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to dilbar ho yaar
Jisko tujhse ho pyaar
Koi to dilbar ho yaar
..............Just 2 remind u wat a friend really is...
Yeh na ho to kya phir
Bolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to ho raajdaan
Be garaj tera ho yaar
Koi to ho raajdaan
Yaaron mohabbat hi to bandgi hai
Yeh na ho to kya phir bolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to dilbar ho yaar
Jisko tujhse ho pyaar
Koi to dilbar ho yaar
Teri har ke buraai pedaante vo dost
Gam ki ho dhoop tosaaya bane tera vo dost
Naache bhi vo Teri khushi main
Yaaron dosti badi hi haseen hai
Yeh na ho to kya phirBolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to ho raajdaanBe garaj tera ho yaar
Koi to ho raajdaan
Tan mann kar tum pe fida
Mahboob vo
Palkon pe jo rakhe tujhe
Mahboob vo
Jiski vafa tere liye ho
Are Yaaron dosti bahi hi haseen hai
Yeh na ho to kya phir
Bolo yeh zindgi hai
Koi to dilbar ho yaar
Jisko tujhse ho pyaar
Koi to dilbar ho yaar
..............Just 2 remind u wat a friend really is...
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Femme Fatale...
Im done!!!Seriously HAD IT!!!!Ive hit rock bottom(wherever in heavens name dat is..i have no idea)...Mindfuked...TOTALLYYY!!!!!Fuck fuck fuck....fuk d world...fuck myslf...fuck evr1..and deir fucked up opinions...Y cant dey friggin let me rot nd die...its not lik ny1 gives a fuck whthr im alive r not...smthin Tanya said last nite just hit me...I have NO ONE!!!its d truth...d most honest thing ive evr said...YES im a bitch!!!U care??...a whore..a cunt..nything if u plz!!!ny thing u can call a gurl...if u do have ny more adjectives..be my guest nd add to d list...!!!!Apparently my misery is seemingly blatent enof fr evn ppl hu i dnt even kno to tell me i have a scrwd up self-image nd no self-esteem watsoever.WTF????
I'm hopin lik fkin hell dat ny body who is literate is reading dis...i dnt want to die nymore...i NEED to...sleeping pills rnt doin d trick..i dnt have d guts 2 stab myslf....too bloody nd gory...nw dat d Aarushi's case is in d limelite..dnt want mum to get into ny trouble...evn aftr im dead..i dnt wanna burden her...nd make her life hell.
Reminds me of smthin a writer said...a role model of some sort i guess..Dorothy Parker.Surprising hw a woman hu struggled thruought adulthood wid drugs nd depression cud write lik magic....
"Razors pain u
Rivers are damp
Acids stain u
And drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live"
Wat beauty lines...
"If u wanna kno wat god thinks of money..luk at the people he gave it to"
"That woman speaks 18 languages!!!and cant say NO in any of them"
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly...it should be thrown with gr8 force"
"Women and elephants never forget"
...these are but a few of her inspirational words of widom...how cliche..fr such work of art!
The atrocities of being a female...ugh!boobs...high maintainence...big mouth..nd d worst of all dese fkin tear glands...they're as gud as an appendix...might as well not exist.lol.
"HURT" -Christina Aguilera
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were,
but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call ya
But I know you won't be there
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broken inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh yeah
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Im sorry..sorry fr being d wretched creature that i am..sorry fr being a burden...sorry fr being not gud enough..sorry fr being born.
I'm hopin lik fkin hell dat ny body who is literate is reading dis...i dnt want to die nymore...i NEED to...sleeping pills rnt doin d trick..i dnt have d guts 2 stab myslf....too bloody nd gory...nw dat d Aarushi's case is in d limelite..dnt want mum to get into ny trouble...evn aftr im dead..i dnt wanna burden her...nd make her life hell.
Reminds me of smthin a writer said...a role model of some sort i guess..Dorothy Parker.Surprising hw a woman hu struggled thruought adulthood wid drugs nd depression cud write lik magic....
"Razors pain u
Rivers are damp
Acids stain u
And drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live"
Wat beauty lines...
"If u wanna kno wat god thinks of money..luk at the people he gave it to"
"That woman speaks 18 languages!!!and cant say NO in any of them"
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly...it should be thrown with gr8 force"
"Women and elephants never forget"
...these are but a few of her inspirational words of widom...how cliche..fr such work of art!
The atrocities of being a female...ugh!boobs...high maintainence...big mouth..nd d worst of all dese fkin tear glands...they're as gud as an appendix...might as well not exist.lol.
"HURT" -Christina Aguilera
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were,
but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call ya
But I know you won't be there
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broken inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh yeah
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Im sorry..sorry fr being d wretched creature that i am..sorry fr being a burden...sorry fr being not gud enough..sorry fr being born.
Here comes that felling again...random thoughts..im on fire here...words pouring in...my head awakening frm a long slumber....spitting out evry bit of watever i have in me out.
Constant nagging has led me..rather us over the edge,consequently rebounding us back into a world of seclusion,where all one can hear is echo of his own voice resonating throughout...without another soul to lend their ears..to listen to d mourning of life..nd death.Wat has d world come to?Pessimism u say this is???ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!Its plain reality that many of us just "choose" not to see and who'd rather pretend and fancy that every1 and evrything is perfect."Perfection" is but hypothetical..it has no real existence..never did(no mattr hw apparent it mite seem)!!Of all the "almost 18 yrs" of my life ive come across various diffrnt ppl,all dynamic.here the term "dynamic" indicating-"a force of history or of the mind that produces change".And believe me wen i say this...Ive seen most of them evlove into something i cannot do anything else but dislike.As a result,they inturn direct all the hatred their feeble hearts can hold towards me.The beauty of the whole thing is that i have no reason to blame them.For in my view I with all probability can say that i deserve evry ounce of it.
Hatred to me has become over the years more of a companion, a personified being than nythin else...not the kind of company i wud lik but..i have nothin else to show for a social life(as much as Tanya says my social life "rocks")Although every human i know of could hate me no less,I find myself NOT hating them back.For what uncanny reason...i do not know...nd mayb do not wish to know either.The more a person hates me..d more gud i see in them.The equation(if u may)..made out to be inversely proportional.Yet there is one person I hate..as in the true sense of the word..whole heartedly..and that being my own self-I me Myself.
I can by no means deny wat an inexorable,obnoxious,stubborn and highly arrogant bitch i am.There's a point in a persons life wen they are forced and persuaded to come to terms with themselves..nd certain facts in life.And so have I,a long time ago.Consequently I have gladly oblidged to the "reality" of myself.I am someone hu serves no "higher" purpose.And i cannot poosibly wonder as to why i was created in the first place.Why in heavens name was i even born?To bear wid the wrath of evryone around me for nathin at all??Talk aboutjustie being served!It isnt like i cant stand the whole world all at once.No!..there are those odd few things such as true friendship...and smthin i lik to call love..that keeps me going regardless of the millions of times ive failed in life.A smile frm a friend,a wink once in a while,a gud compliment here nd there.
Ah pressed d wrong key nd d rest of d blog i wrote got erased(unsaved data)...dnt have d patience 2 write agn...Angel's leavin fr Ranchi 2mrw mornin...went 2 see her 2day..poor thing's down wid jaundice...tsk..tsk.Tanya..seems all hostile now..J..hmmm...Rushi..sob..sniff..whine...Geet...i still miss u.im exhausted,absolutely fatigued!like i said "Im done"...i'll write agn wen my moods atlst a shade better!!!ciao.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
U wanna taste of my wrath???
Hehe...i sound lik Undertaker before a fight..or one of dose villains hu dies nd comes bak wid a vengence in dose 3rd grade hollywood flicks...hehe(Note:The Mummy)...kk..i'll tell u y dat line came outa me...guess wat???i decided to stand fr elections aftrall...i kno pretty pathetic..me nd responsibility...
Well i just decided outa d blue dat id stand.I had no inclination watsoeva until Mohit(salle *$#@@$#^*)..decided to stand...dat fkin chuth...ugh...d gall he has!!!hmm...since d prefects in our skol...r formed lik d Indian Government(u kno..President,Prime Minister,Speaker)...since i won Speaker last yr(won by fluke tho...dint even wanna stnd..stood against Harshit..prbbly one of d most intimidating ppl i kno..atlst in terms of size..lol)..thot mayb if i actlly "wanted"..i'd win
Nyway im standin fr Prime Minister...little does Uncle.Mohit kno dat its d PM dats d nominal head in dis country...so i get d "honour" of standin against his best friend..rather boyfriend(dey behave soooo GAY!!u have no idea!)..Sharan!!bloody dum fuck of a Sharan dsnt wanna stand against Mohit eithr for d fear of losin...nd den being humiliated(cz if no one rubs it in his fae..I WILL!!!)..or he wants Mohit to win wid all his heart...eeeww...wat kinda a name is Mohit nyway??Yo! Mo...HIT!!Hahaha....
So i lukd at dese 2 chuths...evry othr gal refused to stand...actually not evn anothr guy dared to stand(dose *&$%^ 's thot they had it all figured out..wid deir fkin game plan nd evrythin...)
Crap!it is kinda intimidating tho..there they r plannin nd plottin...conspiratin against me..nd here i am givin a fuck abt it...i doubt i wanna campaign even...Nyway Suntan nd J said they'd b my managers nd make sure i win(outa spite cz dey cnt stnd d 2 gandus eithr..neithr does ny1 else in d class...xpt 2 fucked up hics..hu r literally fucked..in evry sense of d word!)
I cant beleve hw pissd i am now...spent d whole day...drownin in depression.Made Angel cry last nite...dint mean to..i just lost it nd told her i was sorry fr interferin wid her nd Sriya nd all..nd told her dat it ws her life nd i ws no one to tell her wat to do...Madame broke into tears..i ws helpless...crap i felt lik shit d whole day..she dint come 2 skol...ws mopin at home...i hate myslf!im such a *$^$&$* bitch!!!bad enough im bawling my head off..now im makin othr ppl cry...
"his" frnd said he's comin bak 2day.."he"...promised he'd call...no hear...sniff...Ah i miss Paul(Priyanka)...mum's suggestin i go 2 Mumbai nxt yr..dad says Calcutta...I wanna get in Amity(Noida)..on scholarship i.e...me confused..VERY!!
Pissed mainly because "death" seems to b takin evry one xpt me..its lik d fkin guy cant stand my guts nd wants me to rot in(on) Earth(as opposed to hell)...me feelin dizzy...hvnt eaten since day before yesterday's lunch...had a fw bites of Tanya's brown bread fr lunch aftr 1 nd a half days!!cudnt help it...ws hungry..nd me stomach ws lettin me know..by givin me immense pain...i wonder hw d fk dose model chics do it...hmmm..i cnt get pills(diet pills)..dunnio whr u get dose..id do nythin now to stop eatin itslf...currently crunchin on dried granola bar...id rather b eatin hay...its dry nd eew..also drinkin nice hot cup of cha..i made...mum's mad at me fr d coffee binging....said chai ws slightly healthier..its k...but nothin beats beautiful black sufar free coffee to keep u goin.
Sigh...sigh...sigh..im tired..i've had it..wid evrythin...ws just tellin Angel nd Tanya too...those thots abt death..nd it whisperin in my ear("die u fkin bitch..u deserve to)....hadnt come fr a long time now...ws strtin to miss it..well no more..now its tauntin me...even if i die...no one wud care..no one wud kno.."he" wudnt care.."he" wudnt kno....Took medical xamination last week...ws waitin fr d reports..ah! d usual...anemia...low BP...but how i ws wishin dey said i had cancer r a tumor r smthin..hw i wish dey said dat i ws gonna die..hw i wish dey said dat i wudnt survive!!!How i wish....*tear drops down*...gtg..im sorry angel...i kno i promised..but i cudnt help it..i have to do wat im abt to...i need to d pain's too much..i need anothr kinda pain to make me 4gt...im sorry..one last time..i swr i'll stop...i swr...
PS-pic of those 2 dum fucks(highlighted in red)..."bakhras 2008...nd for all d years to come-Mohit nd Sharan)
Monday, June 2, 2008
Falling frm grace..wat?? more like falling APART!!
FUCKED!dats how i describe my day...d only thing preventing me frm physically hurtin myslf now(no mattr hw bad i want to)..is Suntan nd Angel...boohoo...Geet came 2 skol 2 take his TC..kinda ignored me...dint but tried to...cud barely talk..his "papa"..ws there...arrghhh...facebook..jus told me im emo..nd dat i need to die...its funny how right a stupid social network test can be...also apparently dim-wit me got a 119 IQ...nd i dint even answr d last 5 qstns..hmmm..dats probably wrong..i thot i was a 0.001..r smthin...damn sad innit..wat a waste of talent..hehe...i miss "him"..he probably barely remembers me...im so sunk in apathy rite now...sigh...facebook also says im a crazy,unconditional lover..with my eyes closed nd heart open...aw..i wish i was...hmmm...
Oh before i forget..i must mention...Suju actually stooped..i mean she actually apologised... i mean a teachr..especially Suju??i mean this is BIG!! its HUGE!!!she said that she dint mean to yell at me last Friday nd dat i shudnt take nythin bad she says to d heart...woah..u wudnt beleve my shocked darn face...yea last Friday she yelled nd me...i was bored so i kept messin wid my hair..apparently it annoyed her nd she yelled...told me to shave my head..ok not literally but close to dat..seing hw pissd i already ws i snapped..askd her wat her problem ws nd to mind her own business(NOTE:im a very gud student...never talk bak..if i do..i have gud reason..nd vvvv rarely)..Suju ws shockd..told me my mind wsnt in d class(xcuse me!!!i ws probably d only 1 lisatenin to her yap)...nyway so wen she apologised i felt all guilty nd said sorry bak...oh nd den she tells me dat she's noticed dat ive been pretty "troubled" fr d past 2 weeks..nd says i'll pull thru it..i mean damn!she shud b some kinda councellor..seriously...
ah i miss Priyanka Paul..i miss Geet..i miss MY dad...I miss "him"(most of all)...i want a life..a normal one..hw i envy any1 hu says their life's normal..sniff...
Oh before i forget..i must mention...Suju actually stooped..i mean she actually apologised... i mean a teachr..especially Suju??i mean this is BIG!! its HUGE!!!she said that she dint mean to yell at me last Friday nd dat i shudnt take nythin bad she says to d heart...woah..u wudnt beleve my shocked darn face...yea last Friday she yelled nd me...i was bored so i kept messin wid my hair..apparently it annoyed her nd she yelled...told me to shave my head..ok not literally but close to dat..seing hw pissd i already ws i snapped..askd her wat her problem ws nd to mind her own business(NOTE:im a very gud student...never talk bak..if i do..i have gud reason..nd vvvv rarely)..Suju ws shockd..told me my mind wsnt in d class(xcuse me!!!i ws probably d only 1 lisatenin to her yap)...nyway so wen she apologised i felt all guilty nd said sorry bak...oh nd den she tells me dat she's noticed dat ive been pretty "troubled" fr d past 2 weeks..nd says i'll pull thru it..i mean damn!she shud b some kinda councellor..seriously...
ah i miss Priyanka Paul..i miss Geet..i miss MY dad...I miss "him"(most of all)...i want a life..a normal one..hw i envy any1 hu says their life's normal..sniff...
Saturday, May 31, 2008
For All Its Worth...
Grrr..hehe...boy!sulking is a tiresome job...lol...so i ws kinda fed up..so decided to blog 2 days in a row(considerin hw im not to have any time to spare this yr.HA!!!)!!hehe..abt wat u say??i have no idea!im writin dis nd watchin Bones...i like d show..wats d big?its probably d most intellectual thing on tv now(im not too inclined to watching programs involving breeding patters of spider monkeys..r anything of d kind..atlst not now)..hehe...hmm so here i am tryin to be some wat excited(lik i had heroin..r smthin)...feels lik im stuck in some kinda abyss...fuck! d world's screwed up..nd its takin evry1 down wid it...Seemingly frm d news..the world's hands seems to be reeking of blood and gore...murder..rape...suicide...(note:Aarushi..also d Maria Monica Susairaj case..besides d hooch in Blore)..damn...D Maria thing just makes me sick.U wanna kno wat hpnd..see my jist of it below...(PS-d ursin is purely my input..lol)
Maria small time actress in Mumbai..Mysore gurl...skol records say she was wat u may call a-DUD...nyway that morning...called her friend Neeraj Grover 2 her house..Neeraj in luv wid maria...maria alrdy has boyfriend...calls neeraj ovr 2 talk..fr some reason d nxt moment neeraj strips in her house...dey wer.."ahem"...suddenly her boyfriend enters..boyfriend's name-Emile Jerome Matthew..fumes on seeing neeraj...fight breaks out..typical male idiots...typical snooty bitch stands by and watches...Matthew kills neeraj...both boyfrnd..girlfrnd confused..scared...Matthew sends maria out to get some big bags to put body in..said if she dint come bak in an hr he'd kill himslf...bitch said she still luvd d gandu..so she did come bak 2 d aptmnt wid d bags...Matthew buys knife in maria's name...both use d knife nd cut neeraj in abt 300 pieces(fuck!d bombay police had d friggin patience to count dat many..but tuk 5 days to find d killer..wah!)...den both make out..and..do it "ahem" thrice!!!rite nxt to d dead body...i mean-eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!nd i thot i ws demented!seriously!Its so sick probably sicker than a necrophiliac...ugh shuddering here..eerie fuckin stuff man!!!den dey dispose off d body..only fr evidence to be left fr d cops..hw brilliant..!!lol....u see...wat i mean???
Im tryin my best to stay sober...my head feels lik a huge lesion left open fr maggots to feed on...d stink of d world getin to my head..nauseating..bound by moral prerogatives...qstns arising out of thin air..all i can do is answer in noncommital grunts..even if i did have d answers...to think id be doling them out???...my precocious brain an abject slave to my past..nd my future(watever dat is...nd IF i have one)..tears rollin down my face just thinkin of people i luv nd how im jus drifting further away frm a world i once knew...a world i once luvd..but now happen to detest....By d way...im not sure y ive changed vocab to suite myslf rather dan d ppl hu generally read this blog..hu have a very restricted diction btw...lol...however..this is proving to be quite therapeutic...me whispering and cursing myself fr no gud reason..also fr evry damn reason under d sun...im actually saying my thoughts out loud..as if some kind of incantation...clarity of those thoughts however is still questionable..almost impotent..useless..in simple terms...
Mum read my horoscope in d morning(my belief:horoscopes lik weathr report can mean anything..vague)..nyway it said i was goin to b extremely happy thru d weekend...woah!u dont see me shouting a paean now do u???happiness seems so unreachable as of now.I miss priyanka..paul..that is...not myself..im not dat self-righteous...female's havin a blast in SRCC...daym!!!anyway facebook tells me she misses me too...its funny we were never really that close in skol...nd now dat she's gone i miss her...probably even more than Geet(idiot!).Ah Priyanka...undoubtedly d most docile,innocent,sweetest thing i kno(trust me i dont kno many of those)..she'd evn hesitate to swat a darn fly..lol..lol...Oh so i decided to be a lil kinky nd horse around so wen i joind facebook added my relationship status as complicated(which it is..only wid sm1 else)..nd den entered her name...den dis mornin a sri lankan guy asks me if lesbian(oh hw i wish)...nyway i shattered ny possible dream he had..by sayin no..u wudnt bleve d no of guys hu think lesbians are a turn on...sheesh!anothr reason fr NOT being a homo..is dat any woman(normal ones i mean)...are'nt gonna have anything i dont..i mean-BORING!!!hehe...i jus wish men(in general...pardon me if ur a geuinely nice guy..but d problem is most chuths think they r d most deent ppl d planets seen..u kno with all the "holier than thou" crap)..wud be less obnoxious...i dnt even mind d odd few pervs..but its d chauvinism dat get to me...
Yea so i read d guy's msg..nd its surprisin hw almst 90% of d world perceive love nd relationships d same way...its quite single dimensional thinkin...i must admit..its pathetic!!!the phrase "widen ur horizon" has lost all meaning...u cnt define love...u cant classify it under anythin..its a whole world on its own...u cud love any1 nd anythin...from ur mum,ur boyfrnd/girlfrnd..to ur dog..to even chocolate!!god dammit!!!tsk tsk..sad state of affairs indeed...im speakin 2 angel...poor woman's going nuts...all thanx to me nevadless...lol..lol...i read her yestrday's blog..nd d female went all hysterical...scared me a lil...hehe...Bones over!..now multi-taskin..eating roti wid right hand..typin wid left...tryin to swallow...plate almst fallin off my lap...watchin Phineas And Ferb(note:cartoon on Disney channel...hehe...)...wat!!i lik cartoons...d more childish d better..which is d least i cud say abt "South Park" tho...its so fkin hard actin out d episodes i sharades i swear...u wudnt beleve d names each episode has..nd me acting out fr a bunch of pee-brain gurls to undrstand..some examples if u plz are-"south park-uncle fucker".."south park-Le Petit Tourette".."SP-The Mystery Of the urinal deuce"..."SP-Kyle's suck cartman's D#*$-the trilogy",....nd its nerdy gurls we're dealin wid here...u wudnt beleve d no brain guesses...hahahahahaha....it cracks me up evrytime!..skol's not so bad wen d teachers arent there...suju's hauntin me in my sleep as well...she's EVRYWHR!!!last nite..i dreamt she came in a white sari(typical bollywood horror flick)..and was screamin lik some banshee tellin me to finish commerce homewrk...dont laf..it wsnt funny..it was terrifying!!!
In case u dint realise ive changed d topic 9 times in dis blog alrdy..this line being d 10th...lol.
Ah..time to go..splitting headache setting in...ciao...ahhhh
Maria small time actress in Mumbai..Mysore gurl...skol records say she was wat u may call a-DUD...nyway that morning...called her friend Neeraj Grover 2 her house..Neeraj in luv wid maria...maria alrdy has boyfriend...calls neeraj ovr 2 talk..fr some reason d nxt moment neeraj strips in her house...dey wer.."ahem"...suddenly her boyfriend enters..boyfriend's name-Emile Jerome Matthew..fumes on seeing neeraj...fight breaks out..typical male idiots...typical snooty bitch stands by and watches...Matthew kills neeraj...both boyfrnd..girlfrnd confused..scared...Matthew sends maria out to get some big bags to put body in..said if she dint come bak in an hr he'd kill himslf...bitch said she still luvd d gandu..so she did come bak 2 d aptmnt wid d bags...Matthew buys knife in maria's name...both use d knife nd cut neeraj in abt 300 pieces(fuck!d bombay police had d friggin patience to count dat many..but tuk 5 days to find d killer..wah!)...den both make out..and..do it "ahem" thrice!!!rite nxt to d dead body...i mean-eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!nd i thot i ws demented!seriously!Its so sick probably sicker than a necrophiliac...ugh shuddering here..eerie fuckin stuff man!!!den dey dispose off d body..only fr evidence to be left fr d cops..hw brilliant..!!lol....u see...wat i mean???
Im tryin my best to stay sober...my head feels lik a huge lesion left open fr maggots to feed on...d stink of d world getin to my head..nauseating..bound by moral prerogatives...qstns arising out of thin air..all i can do is answer in noncommital grunts..even if i did have d answers...to think id be doling them out???...my precocious brain an abject slave to my past..nd my future(watever dat is...nd IF i have one)..tears rollin down my face just thinkin of people i luv nd how im jus drifting further away frm a world i once knew...a world i once luvd..but now happen to detest....By d way...im not sure y ive changed vocab to suite myslf rather dan d ppl hu generally read this blog..hu have a very restricted diction btw...lol...however..this is proving to be quite therapeutic...me whispering and cursing myself fr no gud reason..also fr evry damn reason under d sun...im actually saying my thoughts out loud..as if some kind of incantation...clarity of those thoughts however is still questionable..almost impotent..useless..in simple terms...
Mum read my horoscope in d morning(my belief:horoscopes lik weathr report can mean anything..vague)..nyway it said i was goin to b extremely happy thru d weekend...woah!u dont see me shouting a paean now do u???happiness seems so unreachable as of now.I miss priyanka..paul..that is...not myself..im not dat self-righteous...female's havin a blast in SRCC...daym!!!anyway facebook tells me she misses me too...its funny we were never really that close in skol...nd now dat she's gone i miss her...probably even more than Geet(idiot!).Ah Priyanka...undoubtedly d most docile,innocent,sweetest thing i kno(trust me i dont kno many of those)..she'd evn hesitate to swat a darn fly..lol..lol...Oh so i decided to be a lil kinky nd horse around so wen i joind facebook added my relationship status as complicated(which it is..only wid sm1 else)..nd den entered her name...den dis mornin a sri lankan guy asks me if lesbian(oh hw i wish)...nyway i shattered ny possible dream he had..by sayin no..u wudnt bleve d no of guys hu think lesbians are a turn on...sheesh!anothr reason fr NOT being a homo..is dat any woman(normal ones i mean)...are'nt gonna have anything i dont..i mean-BORING!!!hehe...i jus wish men(in general...pardon me if ur a geuinely nice guy..but d problem is most chuths think they r d most deent ppl d planets seen..u kno with all the "holier than thou" crap)..wud be less obnoxious...i dnt even mind d odd few pervs..but its d chauvinism dat get to me...
Yea so i read d guy's msg..nd its surprisin hw almst 90% of d world perceive love nd relationships d same way...its quite single dimensional thinkin...i must admit..its pathetic!!!the phrase "widen ur horizon" has lost all meaning...u cnt define love...u cant classify it under anythin..its a whole world on its own...u cud love any1 nd anythin...from ur mum,ur boyfrnd/girlfrnd..to ur dog..to even chocolate!!god dammit!!!tsk tsk..sad state of affairs indeed...im speakin 2 angel...poor woman's going nuts...all thanx to me nevadless...lol..lol...i read her yestrday's blog..nd d female went all hysterical...scared me a lil...hehe...Bones over!..now multi-taskin..eating roti wid right hand..typin wid left...tryin to swallow...plate almst fallin off my lap...watchin Phineas And Ferb(note:cartoon on Disney channel...hehe...)...wat!!i lik cartoons...d more childish d better..which is d least i cud say abt "South Park" tho...its so fkin hard actin out d episodes i sharades i swear...u wudnt beleve d names each episode has..nd me acting out fr a bunch of pee-brain gurls to undrstand..some examples if u plz are-"south park-uncle fucker".."south park-Le Petit Tourette".."SP-The Mystery Of the urinal deuce"..."SP-Kyle's suck cartman's D#*$-the trilogy",....nd its nerdy gurls we're dealin wid here...u wudnt beleve d no brain guesses...hahahahahaha....it cracks me up evrytime!..skol's not so bad wen d teachers arent there...suju's hauntin me in my sleep as well...she's EVRYWHR!!!last nite..i dreamt she came in a white sari(typical bollywood horror flick)..and was screamin lik some banshee tellin me to finish commerce homewrk...dont laf..it wsnt funny..it was terrifying!!!
In case u dint realise ive changed d topic 9 times in dis blog alrdy..this line being d 10th...lol.
Ah..time to go..splitting headache setting in...ciao...ahhhh
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